That’s right! I’ve graduated from counseling! Although I’m not yet comfortable stopping my medication, I’m in the best place I’ve been in a LONG time!
A month ago I told my counselor, “I love you! I have notice how happy and focused I’ve been. The way I’m dealing with people and situations has been better too. Everybody has noticed.” She said, “Wait a minute, I am just a ‘guide’ you’re doing the work. While I appreciate the compliment, mental health is up to the client. Nobody can do it but you, and you’re doing it! You’re working very hard”
I’ve learned to speak up. I’ve spoken up. Cathartic! Thought barriers? Stop what I’m doing and deal with them. Expect unpredictability. A nurse asked me what my head was going through. I said the party in my head would scare Bram Stoker and Stephen King. She thought it was funny. (Glad YOU thought it was funny! I was scared!) “Hold the door open and announce the party’s over!” Immerse myself in hobbies. When I tell myself I’m worthless and need to die of natural causes, stop right there and remind myself of my own positive good. “Ade, you just made your best friend laugh! That made you laugh! Everybody’s now laughing! Good job!”
It’s a journey. It was and is hard work. Thank you all for getting and loving me through this. I won’t stop blogging but it will be about more fun and random stuff. I love you all!