What are you hiding from?

Hey! What’s the mask for?  Good question.  Are you hiding yourself?  From yourself?From what?  Your feelings?  Are you hiding from personal conflict?  I was/am.

Here’s where it gets confusing.   I was told to take my mask off.  “Let the real you SHINE!”  “Stop taking ‘guff’ from people.”   “Give attitude back!”  For me that’s been a slow process.  I’ve only recently started to “give back” in terms of speaking my mind, letting people know what was and wasn’t appreciated.   It has really been empowering!  WARNING!  I WILL BE DOING MORE OF THAT!

I hide from my own reality.  I try not to when think about my health issues although I am taking care of them.  There’s a corner of my head I retreat to.  I come back when I feel safe.  I try not to think about mortality, although I know one day I’ll have to.  Can’t “do” you right now. Gotta “do” me.

I’ve learned that I’ve been at war with MYSELF!  “Did I say that right?”  “Did I do this right?”  “Could I have done that better, if so how?”  ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!  “STOP THINKING ADE!”  “NOTHING IS WORTH THIS MUCH STRESS!”

I use humor as a mask and an escape.  I use it to maintain my sanity.  If I didn’t, I might be somewhere I don’t like right now.  I’m frustrated as much as anybody.  I can’t help my feelings.

Yes I hide.  Do you, if so what from?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Humanity

I recently tried to do a favor for a friend.  Her service dog was killed by a vicious pit bull.  Wanting to help her with obtaining another one, I joined a Facebook group that specializes in service animals.  One question they asked in order to join was what reason do you have for wanting to join the group?  I said I’m doing a favor for a friend.   I got accepted.  I asked for resources to get help with vet bills and to get another dog.  The one that was killed started as a pet and got training.  I read ALL 38 RULES and saw NOTHING that said that I couldn’t do what I was doing.  So, I asked for the needed help.  My request was deleted and I was told to read the rules again.  I did.  Nothing indicated that I had broken the rules.  After I posted that the dog had died, I was attacked by other members.  I left the group so they wouldn’t have the satisfaction of banning me!  So begs the question….

WHAT HAPPENED TO HUMANITY?  The act of being HUMAN!  When Ellen DeGeneres received a humanitarian award, she said, “It seems silly to receive an award for being nice and kind and generous.  I mean that’s kind of the point of being human.”  Aren’t we supposed to be there for each other?  That what I thought.  Am I wrong?  I hope not!  When someone I care about has a problem or a crisis, I will do everything I can to help you, to support you.  It breaks my heart that I was treated like this.   It fills me up to help people and make their lives better.   The reward for doing it is doing it!  The best way to uplift yourself is to uplift others!

So, what happened?  When did the rules change?  We used to have each others backs.  Now, we only look out for No. 1.   Where I live, if we see your livestock on the road, we will shoe them back onto your property and help you fix your fence.   We share extra bounty from our crops.   No one has to ask for the help, we know, we’re there.  We didn’t change the rules.  Who did?  You?   Instead of “All for one and one for all” it’s “One for One and One for One”?

How do we get back to humanity?  Step outside, meet and greet your neighbors.  Smile, show some warmth.  It will catch on.  I promise!

 

 

Sisters

Today I want to talk about someone who was always there.  Yea, I was blessed with wonderful loving parents but there was always this one person only 18 months older than me so she understood.  My older sister Andrea.  When I complained about bullies to my parents, they would go through channels to try and get resolution.  Andrea went to the source and GOT resolution!

Boys!  Who doesn’t think they’re older same-sex sibling knew everything about the opposite sex!?  Andrea and I spent many hours in a corner of a room having private conversations about boys and puberty in general.  She gave me gentle advice.  She kept my confidences unless she felt I was in danger or getting there.

Both my sisters and I did things as kids.  Jam sessions with every instrument in the house.  During these our parents would go for LONG walks.  My parents were big into learning and teaching first-aid.  We practiced on each other.  We never had science kits.  we learned with what our parents felt safe letting us use.  Dad built me a special tandem bicycle.  We tied my wheelchair to it. Andrea and I rode the bike, Annette rode in the wheelchair. We went everywhere!  Especially Dairy Queen and the park to watch little league baseball.

One of my favorite memories is, the summer before I entered high school, she took me to the mall.  We shopped and did other “girl things”.  We ate lunch in the food court.  She told me how to navigate high school.  Best boy talk ever!  Private sorry.  High school:  Don’t buy tickets to the pep rally.  Ninja’s will NOT drop out of elevator ceilings to beat up students that aren’t supposed to ride them!

One weekend she came home from college and we went out again.  We stopped at a car wash, she opened the ceiling so we could watch it.  The plexi glass door was also open.  We SCRAMBLED to close it as the wash was starting!  We laughed for an hour!

We have our own lives now, but that has never dampened our friendship.  We go back and forth to see each other.  She’s visiting as I’m blogging.  She is still quick to offer help, love and wisdom.  She is totally dedicated to her family and friends and is willing to commit to anything that needs doing.

I LOVE MY BIG SIS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NEGATIVE LABELS vs POSITIVE LABELS

Are you Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or do you HAVE Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?  Do you wear a name tag that says, “Hello, my name is Multiple Personality Disorder but you can call me Schizo”?  What you’re doing is called NEGATIVE LABELING!  STOP THAT!  We don’t just hear with our ears, we hear with our hearts as well.  Believe me, our hearts hurt most when they hear what we say to OURSELVES!  Did you think about that?

So you forget to preheat the oven and the cake is still batter?  “I am such a stupid flapjacking idiot!” “Story of my life!”  Guess what?  It doesn’t have to be if you stop the NEGATIVE LABELING!  Knock a glass over and spill the milk and break the glass, (which only cost 10 cents anyway), you’re not an idiot, YOU’RE HUMAN!

So, what do you think other people’s hearts hear?  Especially a child or a mentally challenged person?   A good friend impulsively does a kindness and it backfires, and you BLOW UP!  “How could you do that?!  You idiot!  YOU RETARD!”  How do you think you made that person feel?  You called them a RETARD!  You negatively labeled them which burned their heart and made them negatively label themselves!  OUCH!

What would happen if we used POSITIVE LABELING?  First on ourselves, ok I forgot to preheat the oven, my heart is in the right place.  I happen to be pretty and funny and lovable!  Not to mention VERY INTELLIGENT!  ADHD, WHO CARES?  You sparkle!  Missing a limb?  Pfffft!  It doesn’t define you!  Weight issues, thank you for being the friend that you are. One of my best friends was mentally challenged.  Let’s work on the positive labeling and build each other up ok?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     In case we need to be reminded of what a label looks like.

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Who Are You Independent Of The Package?

Think about it.  Who are you that your nooks, crannies, badges of survival and bumps have nothing to do with?

I met with a friend that had just had a stroke that left her wheelchair dependent.  She was debating on whether or not to attend a family reunion.  I encouraged her to go.  Not everybody knew about the stroke and she was afraid their reactions.  I asked her, “Who are you independent to the wheelchair?”  She didn’t understand.  I asked, “Who is ‘Lady McBeautiful’ that the chair has nothing to do with?”  She was perplexed.   I got out of my wheelchair onto a couch and pushed my chair away a little.  I explained that I like to cook, eat, I love my family and friends.  I didn’t need a wheelchair to earn an academic letter in science in high school. or my amateur radio license.

I told her, “Yes, those that didn’t know will ask, especially children.  Answer honestly and be yourself.  After 5 minutes, everybody will realize that you’re still the same Lady McBeautiful you’ve always been!”  She had a great time at the reunion!

Independent of my package, I love people, animals, football, cooking, collecting owls, soaking nature.  That’s just the surface!  I’m working on things about my anchovies. The package had nothing to do with some of it.

Who are you independent of your package?

 

Perfectly Imperfect

Aren’t we all perfectly imperfect?  YES WE ARE! Isn’t that WONDERFUL?  How wonderful is it that we have our own quirks, our own habits, our own ways.  We are our own kind of beautiful.  How AWESOME is that!

An Aunt had a hip replaced.  It’s not working as she hoped. It’s not stopping her either!  She hunts, scuba dives, travels.  She is kind, generous and very loving.   Perfectly imperfect and I couldn’t love her more!

My elderly parents, hard of hearing, age-related health issues.  God couldn’t have gifted me with two better people to raise me, teach me, love me and show me how to love.  My PERFECTIONS are because of them.  I’m grateful for them, perfect imperfections and all.

The rest of my family, they’ll be happy to tell you that I’m the quirky one.  THEY’RE RIGHT!

My best friend, that’s a different drummer right there!  Her own brand of humor and sweetness.  If you need her, she will go through fire to get to you.  I’m grateful God gave her to us.

Being perfectly imperfect is fun and educational.  We learn to laugh WITH others AT ourselves.  We get to learn each others ways and stories.  It’s ok to have a 6 way conversation with yourself.  Privately of course!

Today, embrace perfect imperfection and HAVE FUN!

The Difference Between Gifts and Wrapping

As a paraplegic, I get all sorts of reactions to the package I’m in.  WOW! You capable of feeding yourself, cooking!  DUH! Can you see me?  I’m a charter member of “The Knights of The Round People”!   The looks on people’s faces when it occurs to them that I’m actually smart is priceless!  I’ve told Y’all the 5 syllable trick in a previous post.  Where someone talks to me like I’m challenged and I say a 5 syllable word properly to prove them wrong.   The wheelchair, the big head, the scars, (ugly word) I mean badges of survival, that’s WRAPPING!  There is so much more to people than a wheelchair, a badge, a mole. There’s the GIFT.

The gift is what’s inside. The love, the kindness, compassion and warmth.  My late fiance, there was so much more to him than birth defects and mental illness those were just anchovies.  He was loving, kind, honest, gentle, he could sing and cook and was a GREAT kisser!

I’m about to sound braggadociuos sorry!   I am kind, compassionate, have a great sense of humor and do my best to find ways to get along with everybody.   I take pictures because I love to share beauty.  I’m good at it. I’m getting better with people.  I feel those are the gifts I have to share.  My favorite gifts are those I can share.

I don’t have a problem with the package you’re in, what are your gifts?  That’s what counts!