Prevent/Friend A Potential Bully/Victim

I got some positive and sweet feedback about doing this. As a victim of bullying myself, I know how it feels. The emotional pain hurts worse than the physical pain. What people may not realize is that the bully may also be in pain. From October 20th-31st 2019 if you notice someone is angry or having a bad day, Say “HI” talk with them, get to know them. LISTEN to them. Bullies are angry maybe because they have been bullied or abused and they don’t another outlet but to bully. Victims may become bullies or suicidal. Along with talking and LISTENING maybe you can take them to get the preventative help they need to SAVE THEIR LIFE!!!!!!! I won’t ask you to post any encounter on Facebook or my blog especially if you’ve been asked to keep a confidence. I know keeping a confidence can be tricky. Use your judgement. Feel free to share, invite friends and SAVE A LIFE!

I Feel It

Thank you all so much for the words and prayers of love, support and encouragement.   I feel you all surrounding me and holding me up with GIANT hugs!  Today my counselor said next time I have a  misfire, instead of trying to stop it, because that’s when I hurt myself.  Let it ‘burn’ itself out.  Go right to the laughing or crying.

I am still having trouble letting things out.  I have specific concerns and fears that I need to discuss privately with specific people.  I am getting better about speaking up about “immediate” things.  Still working on standing up for myself.  Still working on my thoughts being all over the place.  Having trouble identifying new triggers.

Like I said, it is a process.   The hamster isn’t quite back in the wheel and working the works.  He’s wearing gloves and shadow boxing.  I know I’m not doing this alone.  I’m seeing an AMAZING counselor.  I have a VERY supportive family.  And you all have me surrounded and in the middle of the world’s largest group hug.  I love you all!  #TEAMADE

Something I Thought I’d Never Do!

As I said in my last post, my depression had been kicking me.  Within the span of a few days I had 3 misfires.  A misfire for me is pretty scary.  It starts with getting anxious then really angry with myself for absolutely no reason.   I feel like I’m a burden.  I feel like I’m to blame for everybody’s troubles.  Trying to get a misfire to stop, I usually make a fist and smack my hand while I growl ‘STOP’!   Sometimes crying calms me down.  If possible I try to find reasons to laugh.  After one misfire I played Jeanne Robertson videos on YouTube.

Sometimes it feels futile but I look for what may have caused the misfires.  Did I forget something important?  Is someone mad at me?  Something isn’t going quite right?  But what?  I can’t pin down specifics.    I can’t help how I feel.  This is not something I can fake.  It is too real for my comfort.

Now for the ‘Something I Thought I’d Never Do!’, I need a HUGE support system, circle of security.  I need “TEAM ADE”.   I am asking for prayers for myself and my family as they help me deal with this AGAIN!  Like I said I’m really scared.   Thank you for the love you have always shown me and thank you in advance for your prayers.  I love you all.

 

 

 

Emotional Highs And Lows

Well, it has been something lately.  Don’t know exactly what, but something,  I have been heartsick over the recent tragedies, I won’t discuss politics or gun control.  Everybody’s opinions are your own and I respect that.

Now to try and keep the rest of this post upbeat.  My depression had been kicking me lately.  (Ok, not upbeat.  Here we go!)   I’ll warn y’all that I may get a little braggadocious though, apologies in advance.

I told a good friend who’s working on her Ph.D how I’d been feeling.  After sympathizing with me, she said to remind myself of the blessings in my life.  Remind myself of my positive affirmations.  Look forward to things.

I recently attended my 35th year class reunion.  I had a BLAST!  That was the best reunion yet!  Friends, food, drinks and dancing.  The main organizer gave a very sweet speech.  The class president thanked everyone for coming.  A group of us got on a circle and took turns getting in the middle of the circle and dance.  I hope there’s no video of me dancing because I looked like what you get when you cross a water balloon with jello.  (Sorry for the image!)   When I was ready to get a cupcake, they were gone.  A smart aleck showed me a picture of them.

I take a lot of pictures of sunsets almost every evening.  I had been feeling kind of blah about it lately, maybe stopping it.  At the reunion several people warmed and touched my heart.  They brought their spouses and significant others to meet me, and said, “THAT’S THE ONE!”  I was complimented and thanked for doing it.  I was so lifted by that.  I will keep doing it.  In honor of a friend that passed away a few years ago I started a Facebook group about giving.  Because he was so generous and giving.  His sister, also my friend, is touched by that.

Again sorry about being so braggadocious but the reason I told you all this is because I wanted to spread positive, love, good feeling.  I want to make the world a happier place.  Let this go viral, it’s a good virus to have!  I love you all!

Follow-Up

I would like to follow-up on my bullying post.  I feel some things need to be discussed in the way of prevention and ‘cure’.

In the first bullying post I said, “Be the change you want to see.”  How? Get involved.  Scouts, Big Brothers/Sisters, volunteer at school or the local library.  Coach a team.  Have a structured program.  Mentorship.

People, kids especially, need to know that they are being heard.  Pay attention, a lot of what is said isn’t said with words, but with expressions and actions.

Why is the child bullying?   Harsh, unstable home life?  Beaten and abused by an older sibling?  The only way to cope is to act out?  School?  Maybe the child has an undiagnosed learning disability and is being picked on.

Parents, watch for signs like falling grades, losing interest in things the child once enjoyed, withdrawal, anxiety, anger, you know your child, look for them not being themselves.

Keep the lines of communication open.  Don’t judge.  Make sure your child knows you are a safe space.   Listen, enforce rules, boundaries and limits.

Self-esteem is very important.  Children need to feel good about themselves.  Catch a child behaving and let them know how proud you are of them.  When they’ve done something right, let them know it.  If they make a mistake, GUIDE them in the right direction.  Don’t give them answers or participation trophies!  Help them figure things out ON THEIR OWN!

WHEN ADULTS BULLY CHILDREN!

YIKES!  That’s unfathomable! Adults are supposed to know better!  But it happens, unfortunately!  When a kid gets an answer wrong, the adult explodes!  “You’re stupid!”  GREAT!  Way to rip a kid up!  Weren’t you ever told that words hurt worse than broken bones?  Did you forget how it felt to be that age?  That vulnerable?  Those wounds take too long to heal.  If at all.

Better idea, build the child up.  Again, COMPLIMENT the child.  Tell them that you appreciate them.  point out what they’re doing right.  GUIDE them when they make a mistake.

WHEN ADULTS BULLY ADULTS!

Cyberbullying, rumors, one-upmanship.  This mostly happens when adults are jealous or envious of another adult’s luck.  Better car, better house, gorgeous spouse, got their kid in a good school.  Maybe the lucky adult brags or boasts too much.  Check yourself braggart.  Unfortunately adult-to-adult bullying might get the legal system involved.   Hey bully adult, that’s your own lack of self confidence and self esteem at work.  Be better, do better.  How?  More education, learn new skills, skills that might pertain to your current job.  Don’t like your job?  Learn something new.   Learn from someone you envy and admire.  Elevate others.  It’s the best way to elevate yourself!

 

 

 

BBQ Sauce/Marinade I use it mostly as a marinade. I also use squeezable ketchup and mustard. If the honey is also squeezable… Use any meat you wish. Cook it the way you cook meat. As a marinade it makes pork very tasty and feel like you’re eating air! INGREDIENTS 2 cups orange grapefruit juice 2 wide swirls each ketchup mustard and honey. If you don’t have honey, pancake syrup will do. Salt pepper garlic powder to taste. Onion powder IF you don’t have an onion to mince. Mix VERY well. Poor half in pan you will use for baking. Add meat. Poor the rest over it. Make sure the onion gets everywhere on the meat. Bake the meat the way you do it. As a BBQ Sauce treat it the way you treat BBQ sauce! I believe that cooking is open to taste and interpretation. If anyone wants to fiddle with any recipe I put on here and your variations work, please share.

BBQ Sauce/Marinade

I use it mostly as a marinade.  I also use squeezable ketchup and mustard. If the honey is also squeezable…

Use any meat you wish.  Cook it the way you cook meat.  As a marinade it makes pork very tasty and feel like you’re eating air!

INGREDIENTS

2 cups orange grapefruit juice

2 wide swirls each ketchup mustard and honey. If you don’t have honey, pancake syrup will do.

Salt pepper garlic powder to taste.

Onion powder IF you don’t have an onion to mince.

Mix VERY well.  Poor half in pan you will use for baking. Add meat.  Poor the rest over it. Make sure the onion gets everywhere on the meat.  Bake the meat the way you do it.

As a BBQ Sauce treat it the way you treat BBQ sauce!

I believe that cooking is open to taste and interpretation.  If anyone wants to fiddle with any recipe I put on here and your variations work, please share.